On Monday the 19th, I had my first experience talking on live radio. Redi Thlabi was hosting a talk, the subject matter at this time is of no relevance, suffice to say it brought up emotions within me that I have not experienced in a long time. These emotions triggered a reaction inside me that needed an outlet. So I smsed my experience to the number that Redi mentioned and within a minute of sending the sms I received a phone call from her controller telling me that Redi would love to discuss my experience on air and asking me if I would give them my permission. Without thinking I gave my consent, next thing I knew, I had a psuedonym and according to the controller was living in a different town.
I found myself on air, nervous, tongue tied and with temporary verbal constipation. Almost as if I were having an out of body experience, I heard myself speaking, stuttering and forgetting an entire lifetime of words. I am not even sure if I managed to convey my experience eloquently (but I do doubt it), I cannot even remember what it was I said.
Afterwards, I felt lighter as if somehow sharing my experience with countless numbers of strangers had lifted off a very heavy load from my shoulders. Speaking via radio anonymously and sharing something as personal as I did with thousands of listeners who did not know me made me realise that as strong as I profess to be, the best thing that one can do after experiencing a traumatic experience, is not to keep it within oneself, the truth of the matter is that if we do not share our experiences with others, we do not heal, no matter how much we persuade or convince ourselves we have.